MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. It actually did make me feel a little better. When my husband and I had been together for maybe a year, I went to my mom exactly once for advice. Ngl bro the first halve is disrespect enough, you now know she keeps important shit to herself like Tom tryna derail your marriage and is at the same time comfortable sharing your personal life with her friends and entertaining her friends disrespecting you in your own home. I turned to my wife with a raised eyebrow and announced I guess you didnt have me pegged to be a man that would stand up for himself! And I majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the house. A random guy you barely know has stuck more by you tonight than your own wife does on the regular. I was pooping and you helped me push from laughing so hard. Talk it out and see if she can commit to working on this need to put on appearances. Here are some of my favorite quotes (I collect them). Thats pretty telling. If she isn't willing to do both of those things, then she is proving she doesn't value you enough, or is sorry enough for the damage she's caused, to be worth staying with. Your wife was actively talking shit about you behind your back when she thought you werent listening. If thats true then she needs to work on her confidence to be herself around her friends and nit be pressured to say things to sound cool. Its fucked up to add that to a conversation just to pile on and humiliate her own husband. They were together for 3 years. I know from experience when you say Ill kinds of shit and they say whatever makes your friends happy or agree especially if youre drinking and they all laugh about it I believe your wife really does love you but she needs to stand up for you with your friends and those friends arent real friends so they have no business in your home do you need some serious counseling for your children sake. Good luck bro! Being shitty is easy, being a good person is too Clearly choices have been made. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. I'm wondering if your lack of fighting in your communication may be related to her not being open and honest with you as you are with her. Honestly the only advice I have is to go for that beer with your friend, he seems to be the only one in the situation treating you decently. That is why we married each other. Yeah. No matter how stupid, stupid turnt I got, I would NEVER be in a state of mind to let such a personal, private thing slip out. Oh my god I fucking lost it at your comment. Never stay with someone because of the kids and don't ban alcohol from your spouse this is terrible advice. Im one of the long time married people commenting in this sub. She violated a boundary. She said she really felt bad when she realized she outed you, but I mean how sorry is she really if here she is bringing it up AGAIN? Best of luck with whatever you decide! You deserve so much better than this. You and your sexuality are valid and you deserve to be treated as such. Before my wife was with me she dated a man named Tom. The two judgmental homophobic friends have got to go. As for your wife - I think her feelings are understandable even if her actions were insensitive. The bottom pine is you're supposed to be able to confide in her about these things and she's mishandled your trust. How you treat your relationship with your wife is up to you, but I would say to her that her friends are homophobic and need to never come by the house again. Which means wherever you gothere will be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering if people are judging you or talking shit about you behind your back, I'm not sure how you move forward in this situation but I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to, I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to. Honestly man if I found out my partner thinks so little of me because of my sexuality, especially after what you guys do in the bedroom, I would honestly hand her divorce papers and let her know that she can enjoy her friends company more since she's not with the bi guy anymore and she can go be with Tom like she wanted. The other men were cowering in my path - perhaps it was the still throbbing splitting seams, or maybe it was the velocity I was able to achieve on my heelys from the downward grade of my driveway. How long has she been friends with them? Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. From one bi to another, I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's a bisexual's nightmare scenario to hear your long-term partner say this kind of shit. If they outed me and mocked our sex life with their friends, I would never be able to be intimate with them again. Had a similar situation with my best friend. THAT is a stand up friend. Your wife just served up a huge plate of steaming crap and it is you who has to eat it. Seems like she might have played along a little too much to sound cool to her friends. Would she still have the friends over knowing how they feel? Very few people know so I was instantly fucking pissed because if they knew, its cause my wife told them. I dated a man who tried to beat the bisexuality out of me because the few girl friends I had were "my type." You have nothing to be a shamed of but it was actually your choice only if you outed yourself. If she had doubled down and defended herself and her friends, then that would be a break up situation imo. People knowing that hes bi will damage his reputation? How horrible she is, violating you, your sex life, envisioning other people. Accept yourself, just try to improve. Wow dude, that sucks and I feel bad for you. Personally I don't think it's bad enough to end a good relationship over but you should make it clear that trying to hide her mistake and belittling you to others to save her self from their scorn is both childish and cruel. i love him but he doesn't excite me the way Tom did. We may discuss, ask for suggestions, etc., but we don't laugh about one of us outing someone (not that we'd care) and trashing their sex life. She's betrayed you. This seems to be an unpopular opinion, but I kind of agree with you. If Tom popped back into the picture at any point, Id have told my partner what happened. Even if it was a close call, you dont say that. The bigger problem seems to be that she's embarrassed of it, not willing to stick up for it/you, and is willing to lie to her friends to fit into what they want her to be. She outed you. Personal details should remain private. Its amazing where friendship comes from in the darkest of times. Second, if you know somebody is making fun of you over something so intimate and personal, how can you enjoy it again? Both were pretty against it and kind of gave me a hard time about trying it with my husband and even liking it. I turned to my wife with a raised eyebrow and announced I guess you didnt have me pegged to be a man that would stand up for himself! And I majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the house. And what the fuck do you expect?? Shitty situation man. First of all, you're right to cool down before making decision on anything. When the bi thing slipped, she should have told you. That's a lifetime story . Relationship therapy, lots of work, regaining trust. Ban the girls from the house. If you can't trust someone with your sexuality - you aren't going to trust them with anything else that matters to you, there will always be something keeping you from sharing your full self with them. 1. The other men were cowering in my path - perhaps it was the still throbbing splitting seams. So how wonderful was their family while his wife is sharing secrets and laughing behind his back? She forced him out, and its time for her to join him. Not to mention she outed him and didn't even come clean and let him know, instead allowed the jokes to flow for a couple years - that's pretty unforgivable. And her dissing your sexual needs to her friends and I truly understand that it was very hurtful and disrespectful to you and your marriage. I hope you can work it out. Or even a long drive. Shes married to a bi man, and her idiot friends shouldnt have the power to make her feel bad about it. She and her boyfriend did it regularly. "I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. BS. I heard their conversation. Give your best anyway. Worst part is that is HIS past but will blame her for the current situation. Your wife betrayed your trust, and knowingly let her friends make homophobic comments. Good luck and I do feel for you. Will take her out to nice places, and buy her stuff. I hope you are able to get marriage counseling and find a way through this wether it ends with you together or not. We have 2 amazing kids. Get used to me being stupid". Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. After some investigation the the psychologist and clinic consensus was that my mind was f***ed up. How disgusting can she be? Thats something she and you will have to work on because she shouldnt be embarrassed of it, but at the same time I kind of understand how she can buckle under the pressure of her friends opinions. I would not have been able to control myself the same way no doubt. I think that is a much worse betrayal, to laugh at him behind his back with these people he thinks are friends. The moment your sexuality became some kind of giggle fodder was when it really crossed the line. Its so stupid, Im sure shes great in all other aspects but she needs to stand up for you. Your anger is justified, but breaking up your wonderful family over this is too much and a shame? Best of luck, stay happy, and be you (those who disagree can simply get out). Take a few more days. How would she feel if she overheard this? At the end of the day, it is you who'll decide what makes you happy not them! Thats the shittiest advice you could give someone. This has big sad middle America vibes or something. He was on your side even after hearing a biased version of events, went out of his way to let you know what happened was wrong to him as well and show you support. Most importantly, YOU DID NOT GIVE CONSENT to the things she is talking about!! Its just so cowardly and shows she's not on your team. The fact that her mindset even thinks doing things like anal play are bi tells me she probably has some internalized homophobia she needs to deal with. They'll only hear "he likes sex with men. If you want to save your marriage and restore trust some sort of therapy is probably necessary. I can't stress enough how important it was that you didn't let this fester and at the same time you removed yourself from the situation to give yourself time to sort out your feelings. Same! And highlight that she prioritized her friendships over your feelings. You are joke to your wife she have no respect for you at all. Will you ever be able to "do the bi stuff" in bed with her again? It sucks. Therapy is what you need. But she's obviously done it before - all her friends knew it was okay to discuss and laugh about while she joked about letting him do "gay" stuff while she fantasies about other men. Maybe things that we say passively just to get our friends to laugh and joke, but arent meant to be taken seriously. I would be trembling with furious anger and wouldn't be able to face her with the same amount of trust for a long, long while after this incident. She really messed this up, she's immature and worried about offending the wrong people. If it was truly an accident, she shouldn't keep talking about it, she should always just say "I fucked up in telling you that. Not buying it. Anything she says in the moment right now can't be trusted because she'll do or say whatever it takes to keep you. My parents stayed together for my sister and I and I honestly wish they would have split a long time ago. It may actually be useful separating your real friends from the judgemental ones. Make sure she knows how traumatic that was for you. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. Sorry bro, you got something thinking to do 2) Your wife flat out lied about her grin and bear it attitude about your sex life regarding the "bi stuff" when she often initiates it. They all laugh. At the end of the day hets are gonna het, I'm really sorry man. Also, people who have satisfying sex lives dont talk about it, just like people who have actual wealth dont have to tell you). Chin up man. 3) Gossiping about your private life and using it as entertainment for her friends is a huge betrayal. Any time it would come up I would think about those words. I agree with this comment the most. Just here to let you know bi guys are preferable. Especially when there is alcohol involved. My take: there may be some truth in her fabrications to her friends, which makes her even worse. She is trying to write this shit off as a mistake. What she did was just bottom of the barrel type of shit. I would keep notes about what's promised and then see what she manages to do about it going forward (should you decide to stay with her). Idc about bros before hoes or chicks before dicks nonsense, when someone insults your partner behind their back its your responsibility to stand up for them, not agree with them and contribute to the drunk girl talk. Theres PLENTY of ways to do this in both confrontational and non-confrontational ways. Would she throw them under the bus too or try to forbid them from coming out? People are often unreasonable and self-centered. This is now twice that she has blabbed something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know about. "My. Im not at all saying you were wrong to stay and listen and your feelings are VALID. My bf and I have been together not long 3 years but hes 33, I 27, and whenever there is even a shred of something that bugs either one of us we tell each other. But it's not cool to talk about your spouse like that to fit in and it's definitely not cool to talk about your intimate secrets with other people. Throwaway cause I know one of her friends is an avid reddit user and knows my main account. It doesn't matter if her friends judge her for things - she needs to stand up for you as her husband. Good luck! Not such perfect marriage after all. Don't be embarrassed about any of that stuff, everyone knows now so just own it. You are who you are, it's a done deal. How unattractive I feel. Ugh. We have been married for more than 10 years and have . Best of luck. I think you should try to work this out. It actually did make me feel a little better. All I know is I would never trust my wife ever again after something like this. It's tough because that level of betrayal is seriously enraging, but, do you throw away a good thing? This was betrayal. They were basically talking about me (no one contacts me anymore, just my wife to commend her on how loyal she is despite having a douchebag loser husband), and I overheard her agreeing with the person on the phone. Well he's not open about being bi so I'm pretty sure he does care about it. I would want to know why, if it was me. Their partners undoubtedly know about you. I wish you the best of luck and although feelings usually subside after sleep, please don't just say everything is alright when this incident has revealed fundamental issues in the relationship's trust and overall what she deems to be acceptable conversations with friends. If alcohol was involved the first time she told them, maybe she was talking about it because she wanted to get a read on how her friends would react. Let her know that if she wants to patch this up, its on her. That was extra stupid. I could not imagine this type of betrayal and I hope you can find peace. Im bi and from a close knit, homophobic religious family. There is nothing wrong with you. I just chain smoked and clinched the steering wheel so hard I thought I was gonna break it. In this day and age? Book an appointment with a therapist, maybe meet up with the one friend who called you, and after a couple of days reassess whether or not you want to try to make things work. I was going to say something identical. Hows everything going out there? she asked motioning to the garage smiling nervously. I couldnt believe it. And sometimes its nice to vent about the small stuff and have close friends relate to you and help you feel youre not alone. Perhaps individual first because youll have to process your own feelings before trying to work through things together. So our RC is this weekend and I overheard my wife talking on the phone with a friend about it. Couples therapy is a must, but it is on your wife to earn your trust back. I honestly don't know if your marriage can survive this. Second, I am sorry you heard them given that I dont know exactly what it would take to rebuild trust from where you are currently. I agree with this comment as a bi person! I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. But don't be shocked when prople know already. If its been a long time she maybe used to be that way but not anymore and still knows how to do the diggs they like. And regarding the "I let it slip while drunk" part, she's still responsible for her acts while drunk. With women like you out there in the world, why the fuck would anyone settle for less? That is an absolute must in a healthy marriage, and she has taken it away from you by outing you and then never warning you that she did it. That's awful. If so, I think you should try. Smoked. My worst mistake was not breaking up right away. Me: Oh, does (friend) work with Tom? I said this as sarcastically as possible. Though she made some comments around it to her female friends, I would not take those seriously (imagining other men etc). Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111 I was so suprised how she talked about me to her friends and family..and when I confronted her I had the evidence. You have a couple of children and a good life up until now. Let her know how betrayed you feel. For example, he keeps in touch with some of his exs and although it's his business he is always transparent with me because he know how I would feel if it was behind my back. 2.) And also refused to allow anyone to talk about it. Don't minimize the situation and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you are overreacting or that this isn't divorce-level situation. Your wife needs some new friends. Don't leave mate just get a bit of counselling to talk through your feelings about this situation with her and get some grounding. Your wife violated your trust multiple times. No true friend will stab you in the back. If you think you can continue in a relationship with someone who is so nonchalantly willing to throw you, your feelings, and your whole person under the bus so easily, for what? Maybe you could come around trusting her, but i wouldn't trust her friends. Hopefully, she falls into a better crowd that is modern and accepting. You two will need some couples counselling after this incident, and some of what you will do in the future will be decided by if you can overcome a natural feeling of anger and resentment that you feel. Your wife is a pretty disgusting person. She blamed drinking for outing you in the beginning and now shes blaming it again in this situation. You gotta fuck Tom. Your other half should be your protector but it turns out she's the instigator of making fun out of your sexuality - which should only be discussed between the two of you. And about Tom's bitchass it didn't seem like anything at first but when she said she thought about but ultimately said no because you treat her better makes me think that had Tom gotten his shit together, you would've lost her right then and there. Also, she could have been honest and told him what happened at the bachelor party, but instead she kept it a secret. Thats not the kind of person you stay with. She didn't have your back and she put friendship with assholes over her partner in life. She should genuinely make amends for it and admit to your so called friends her hand in the situation! . Neither is divorce. EVERYTHING she did was awful and she clearly knew that she messed up (more than once). But Im not sure I know anyone who hasnt. Why was this in turn a secret kept from you? Ive never felt this upset. Youre delusional. Solve thid situation by TALKING let her explain herself and then tell her what you feel. I think you did the right thing by leaving that night, although blowing up the party that was might not have been the best idea. Seriously I have a whole lot of respect for you for how you reacted. I feel for you and wish you the best. As others have said you've been outed and made fun of for YEARS now and the weight of that should be made apparent to your "wife". Funny thing she thought it would cheer me up to tell absolutely fucking everyone, just to cheer me up. I could hear what they were saying and I heard one of her friends mention Tom. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. I think it's too late for couples counseling. This isn't your fault. It doesn't matter how private it is, or if they say they don't, they talk. Are those things outweighed by her indiscrete talking (and her judgemental friends). My dad was bisexual and if I heard my mother saying shit like that about him Id be livid. Best to you. Id almost go with divorce but with the kids, I sincerely hope counseling is able to help. Right? Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. They are what they are and they are very real. I mean the "I overheard my wife say something upsetting about me to her friends" genre is a little played out. Im so sorry this happened. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. Life is transient. Especially with the "gay" things they do. Id say therapy but honestly no, she knows she fucked up and instead of standing up for you, let it happen. It is also extremely concerning that she never told you that Tom approached her before the wedding. She put you down at your own house. We were chatting in my kitchen (we own a two family house) and her boyfriend was eavesdropping at the connecting door. Don't go broadcasting it. Is she going to listen to her friends claim that you being bi has somehow swayed them? I'm sorry you're going through this but your wife is such a shit person man. One friend asked her if she considered it and she said yes but ultimately she chose to stay with me because I made her happy and treated her better. Your wife said that she accidently let slip two years ago you were bi. Personally I think you handled as well as could be expected - what with confronting the issue right away and pulling consequences for her violating your very personal boundary/secret. Hubby is under the bus & she's driving over him again & again unnecessarily! She needs to do something to show how sorry she is. Im extremely sorry this happened to you OP. You have every right to be pissed. Birds of a feather flock together. Weirdly enough, weve never gotten any negative feedback from our closest friends. this sounds like a case of she only sorry she got caught. Just talk. Ask her about it, give her the space to openly address it and dually try and understand why she feels that way as well as highlighting why you two are together. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. The Geni has escaped from the bottle, as there's no chance of putting it back in, you need to deal with the humiliation that you feel in how it was told. If you love her and things work, then your answer is clear. Isn't this basically reverse sexism? Things ended when Tom took a job across the country and my wife chose not to follow him. She feels bad for being caught. At a minimum she should have come clean about the bachelorette party thing the moment it happened. Whoa. This crap has been swimming around for TWO FUCKING YEARS. And why do you feed their judgement by throwing your husband to the wolves over this? You must not lose faith in humanity. It just seems like shes ashamed of it an projecting. One of the guys who was there called me and I answered. But 2 years later she is still talking about your most sacred aspect of your personal life, by filling in her friends on the most private part of your life. I'll be dammed if a single one of my friends said anything like that about my man. My fears were confirmed she'd been talking to him for a good while. Also, if shes lying to you about this, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont know. Oh come.A- at least. If she cant trust herself to keep her mouth shut around her friends when drunk, then she shouldnt drink around her friends. I think forcing her to go no contact with certain friends is crossing a line in a relationship that can never be repaired. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. I had no privacy. Especially when it all seems to have been going well. 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